The Resilient Power of Friendship

by Eric Nachtigal

If you’ve known me for a length of time, you’ll know that I hold things close to my heart, am fiercely loyal, at times emotional, and at the top of the list….value friendships enormously….especially the friendships that value positivity, encouragement, acceptance, and fun!  

In a recent conversation, with a friend that embodies all these attributes, she asked me how I like work, what parts of my life I am loving, what aspects bring me joy, challenges I’m facing, and then they threw in one that I wasn’t expecting….. “How do I build my own resilience?” 

Wow, such an unexpected, but great question and very important for each of us to understand within ourselves…for our own mental health, physical health, and longevity in life!  After briefly delving into her knowledge of Resilience, sharing about life, finishing our coffee, and a big friendship hug…we went on with our day, excited for the next time we’d be able to get together.  

But, I couldn’t help but continue to think about some recent learning regarding anabolic energy…and how that intersects with Friendship and Resilience.

There are many paths to building resilience in the journey of life.  Resilience is a vital trait that empowers us to navigate challenges, setbacks, and uncertainties. As we strive to cultivate resilience, we often seek inspiration from various sources – one of the most profound being our friendships. The concept of "anabolic energy" comes into play here, representing the constructive and growth-oriented aspects of energy that can help us build resilience in the face of adversity.

Upon further reflection and a little bit of wondering how the universe brought all this together for me...I strongly realized how I have benefitted from the power of friendship, anabolic energy, and the remarkable role they’ve played in fostering my own personal resilience.

What is anabolic energy?  Through a wonderful colleague and a bit of research, I have learned that anabolic energy is a term borrowed from the realm of physiology, where it refers to the energy used to build and repair tissues in the body. When applied to our emotional and psychological well-being, anabolic energy represents the positive, constructive forces that fuel personal growth, healing, and resilience. Contrastingly, "catabolic energy" signifies the destructive forces that drain our energy and hinder our progress.

So what is friendship’s role in anabolic energy?  Friendship, with its genuine care, shared experiences, and mutual support, is a rich source of anabolic energy.  I’ve been fortunate to have friends that have spanned 30 years, shared honest feedback, encouraged me, provided help when needed…and almost without me even realizing…built my own personal resilience!  Here are four ways friendships have contributed to my emotional growth and resilience and hopefully your friends do the same for you!  

Emotional Support

True friends stand by us during challenging times, offering a safe space to express our feelings without judgment. Sharing our burdens lightens the emotional load and provides healing and emotional growth.

Positive Reinforcement

Friends serve as mirrors that reflect our strengths, accomplishments, and potential. Their encouragement and validation provide an anabolic boost, reinforcing our self-esteem and confidence.

Resilience Through Connection

Meaningful connections with friends provide a sense of belonging and purpose. These connections create a support network that helps us bounce back from adversity with greater resilience.

Constructive Feedback

Friends offer honest feedback, helping us identify areas for improvement without undermining our self-worth. This guidance facilitates personal growth and resilience.

In addition, if you’d like to go a little deeper to really harness anabolic energy within friendships and amplify their resilience-building effects, consider these friendship practices:

Reciprocity: Nurture a balanced give-and-take dynamic in your friendships. Both parties should contribute to each other's growth and well-being, creating a mutually beneficial connection.  It’s not just about you…give friends some of that anabolic energy and build their resilience, too!
Active Listening: Practice attentive listening to understand your friends' feelings and perspectives. Empathetic listening fosters deeper connections and validates their experiences.  To have a friend, you’ve got to be a friend!
Open Communication: Foster an environment where open, honest, and respectful communication flourishes. Addressing conflicts and concerns directly helps prevent the buildup of negative energy.
Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate each other's accomplishments, no matter how small. This practice reinforces positive emotions and anabolic energy.  This is my favorite!  Fill your friends’ buckets whenever you get the chance!  

So what does this all really mean?  Friendships are powerful and we should recognize them for their strength, healing, and healthy power in our lives!  They hold the power to infuse our lives with anabolic energy – the positive forces that fuel personal growth, healing, and resilience. By nurturing these connections and embracing the support and encouragement they provide, we can navigate life's challenges with increased strength and adaptability. As we build resilience through friendship, we unlock the potential for transformative growth and a more fulfilling journey.

Here’s to friends that are positive, encouraging, honest, open, accepting, and loving!  They build us up, strengthen our resilience, and maybe without even knowing it…make us physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy for ourselves, our families, our loved ones, our students, and all those around us!