Personalized Greetings with “Personality-Plus”
A Classroom-level Restorative Practice Intervention
It’s a universal “inside joke” that the kid we’d really like to have a break from is the one who is never absent. Like EVER. And while it’s kind of a joke, it’s also kind of true. Those kids can really wear us out. Did I just break some unwritten “teacher code” by saying this out loud? I hope not.
But what if we flipped the script for a moment?
What if we asked ourselves, “What is this kid really seeking?” And no, a hard spanking is not the answer we’ll support in the restorative practices.
The reality is that many times, this kid is often seeking connection. He comes to school every day in order to be seen, heard, and valued. And while he may get love at home, he is still seeking something from this teacher, this adult, in front of him.
He wants to belong here in the classroom.
“Sometimes the hardest kids ask for love in the most unlovable ways.”
While there are many great strategies we can use to create opportunities for connection with that student, 100% of the time those strategies will fail…unless we actually use them!
Some energetic teachers do the personalized handshake at the door. But does it really work or is it all trendy hype? What does the research say?
Spoiler: yeah, done right, it can work really well!
Whether or not you do the individualized handshake or just greet the kids at the door -- and use the correct pronunciation of their preferred names while doing so -- we also recommend adding lighting up your face like downtown WaKeeney, Kansas at Christmas time! Don’t just move past that link. Click it and look at that small town’s amazing efforts!
Ok, so we’re not literally lighting up our faces with Christmas bulbs of course! But we absolutely will raise the level of excitement on our faces, in our voices, and in our overall demeanor every single time we see “that student.” Yes, we mean it... Every. Single. Time. Even if you struggle to feel the excitement at first, put on a big smile, take a big breath, and let the kid see you’re excited to see them again because this is another chance to make a connection.
We call that action Personality Plus! What does Personality Plus mean? Well, it means bringing your usual personality and then adding a bit more to the top.
What’s your current level of emotion when you see any of your students come into your classroom? Start there. Then it doesn’t matter if you’re the teacher version of the perky Leslie Knope or the droll April Ludgate, whatever your personality normally is, turn it up a notch or 3 when that kid comes into your room! At first, they’ll react as if you’ve lost your mind. And at first, you might feel like it too. That’s ok. That probably means you’re doing it right. Keep doing it every day, every single time you see that kid, no matter how s/he reacts. And that means doing it in the hallways and at lunchtime too.
What does this do? I’m glad you asked!
Think about a time you noticed someone’s face light up when they saw you…particularly when you thought maybe you didn’t already have a strong relationship with them. And if you’ve never had someone’s face light up for you, we are so very sorry about that. Consider running an experiment with a colleague you’re not really close with for the rest of this week. Light your face up to them and watch your relationship start to change.
And if you do know the awkwardness-turn-joy of someone who shows you they’re not just glad, but actually excited to see you, you know it can be a little weird at first, but can quickly grow a warm fuzzy feeling in the kid whenever they see you.
Yes, it’s hard to muster a fake “Personality Plus” so let’s see if we can make it more authentic. You’re having trouble with that kid, right? Well, think about how each time s/he walks into your room, we just got another chance to make a difference in him/her. Today’s your chance. The kid might turn a corner today. And you’re going to be a part of that story. Get excited.
Remember, he’s just a kid who likely has had a hard story. And avoiding or ignoring … or worse, provoking … their attitude has gotten you to what point?
It’s a small thing, that when used alongside consistently greeting kids by name each day, will make a big difference, I promise.
Personality-plus is a simple, no-cost strategy that will help kick-start that desired connection so that kid can begin to deeply learn from you.
Interested in creating a school culture of deep respect, discipline, and accountability amongst both students and adults? Of course, you are!
Mark your calendars to send a team to the Restorative Practice Coaches cohort training this June 17-19. Here, your team will learn the Elements and Skills of a Restorative School and more from the ESSDACK team, partnering with Joe Brummer, author of Building a Trauma-Informed Restorative School and Becoming a Trauma-Informed Restorative Educator. Afterward, your team will be part of a continuing year-long cohort, ready to support Restorative Practices in your school!
Learn more: https://www.essdack.org/rpc
