Anchors: The Symphony of Healing
by Eric Nachtigal
Life, with all its beautiful and challenging high notes and low notes, is a journey and experience that is unique to each individual. It is filled with moments of joy, obstacles to overcome, love, sadness, and a myriad of emotions that serenade our daily lives. While we often embrace and melodically cruise through the calm, relaxing moments, it is the doubt-filled, sad, angry, and stress inducing moments we find most challenging and disruptive. It is in these times that we, as do kids and our students, need anchors to walk beside us, co-regulate with us, ground us, keep us safe, and move us continually towards resilience.
So, what are anchors, how do we discover our own anchors, and how can we help kids know their anchors? Anchors are things that ground us, calm our brains and bodies, provide stability and comfort during times of stress, and simply help us get through those moments in life that are overwhelming on our own. For each of us, I would imagine, this process of discovering our anchors has taken us through several peaks and valleys of life, where we’ve found friends, family, objects, places, practices, and comforting melodies that have soothed us in times of distress, fear, and sadness. Personally, it is through my experiences of being separated from my parents at a young age and developing stress induced trauma, navigating the process of realizing my own personal feelings as a part of the LGBTQ community, dealing with the overwhelming emotions of separation and divorce from a loved one, and losing my Father unexpectedly.
It is through these intense experiences in life, that I began to discover life-affirming, safe, calming anchors that brought me from overwhelmed and scared to calm, determined, and resilient. For me, as I have traversed this grand concert of life, I’ve discovered three trustworthy anchors that I embrace for resilient healing power: Relationships, Hope, and Music. Individually, they offer solace and restoration; when combined, they form an awesome grounding foundation that has guided me through dark valleys and to the mountain peaks of regulation, well-being, fulfillment, and resilience. I would offer the strong possibility that these three anchors, as well as many others, indeed, also are strong anchors for many students we serve in our classrooms and schools.
At the heart of human experience, Relationships play a vital melody that resonates with the need for connection and belonging. Strong, trusting relationships provide comfort, understanding, support, and safety. It is through the power of relationships from college friends, family, colleagues, chorus friends, and many more individuals, that space has been created for my own personal growth, healing, and building resilience, and thus allowed me to pass the power of resilient building, anchoring relationships on to students, educational colleagues, and friends across the world.
The strength derived from meaningful relationships can be musical medicine for the soul, offering a sense of security and love that is fundamental to healing. In fact, research points to the impact of social support on mental health, revealing how positive relationships can buffer the effects of stress and enhance life satisfaction. In the face of adversity and challenge, the empathetic ear, the understanding smile, or the 20 second comforting embrace of a loved one can ignite the spark of resilience needed to overcome challenges. So, give your students a high five, a reassuring smile, a message of empathy, a co-regulating moment in time, a message that you believe in them, a positive affirmation of support, and music to listen to when they need it the most. All these will strengthen your relationship with them and help them discover anchors that could very well help them build the resilience they need to be amazing humans!
Yes, relationships are important anchors, but what about Hope? Shane Lopez, in his article titled “Making Ripples” says Hope, or the ideas and energy for the future, is one of the most potent predictors of success for our youth. Hope encourages persistence in the face of setbacks, fosters positive thinking, and fuels the motivation to achieve personal goals and overcome obstacles. By cultivating hope, individuals can envision a path forward, develop better coping strategies, and harness the strength to continue the journey toward healing. Dare I say nearly the definition of building resilience…which is one of the main outcomes we are trying to build in our kids and students today! I would invite you to instigate the anchor of hope into your life, role modeling for your kids and students, and intentionally setting time (and purposefully placing multiple options on your calendar) for you and your students to engage in acts of kindness, step out of your comfort zone, limit your social media intake, and intentionally socializing with others of positive perspectives. By building hope and our belief in a brighter future, we can begin to transform the world for the better.
Finally, Music, with its universal language and ability to heal, comfort, and inspire can be beautifully combined with both relationships and hope to be an influential and powerful anchor in our world. Whether it has been with life long supportive friends listening to Jimmy Buffett, quietly letting the calming words of John Denver wrap my heart in love while spending time with Dad at the cemetery, holding the hand of my husband and letting him eternally know I love doing “Life with You”, or infusing inspirational music during work time with students during the learning day, music is a comforting and anchoring force. Music wraps around relationships and hope, serves as a powerful tool for emotional healing, and provides soothing rhythmic patterns for the nervous system. Whether through active participation or passive listening, music offers a refuge, a source of comfort, and a pathway to healing.
When relationships, hope, and music converge, they create a symphony of healing that can touch every aspect of our lives. This symphony encourages us to connect deeply with others, to hold onto hope even in the face of despair, and to let the healing melodies of music guide our hearts and minds toward peace and well-being.
Embracing the power of these elements means opening ourselves to the richness of human experience, allowing the beauty of connection, the strength of hope, and the comfort of music to heal us from within. In this symphony of life, we find not only the resilience to face our challenges but also the joy and harmony that come from the profound healing power of relationships, hope, and music.